https://Locanto.net.com

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Locanto.net

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locanto.net

If you knew how lonely I got every day then I think you would do everything in your power to make sure I was feeling just okay. I don’t mean to say that my fans don’t give two poots about me just to say that sometimes it feels like the world – ‘nay this universe - wants me to jump off a building and watch as my body becomes ground hamburger meat. Hamburgers sound tasty, I just wish my welfare check was bigger so I could go buy one. I cannot buy a hamburger because I spent it on a fine Indian lass. I tried accessing Locanto but I think I got confused when doing a Google and found some random female’s site that was offering similar services. Okay then, I went ahead and placed an order for this beautiful lass to come over to my place! I told her I wanted her to watch my awesome bow staff techniques and just wanted some praise and she agreed that sounded like a fun time. Except it was not fun at all! She sent her husband to come over to my house and tell me to show him my bow staff skills myself. “You think you’re a real man,” he asked me. I told him, “not really,” and he chuckled: “You’re right, you’re no man. If you drop that bow staff even once I will rip it out of your hands and beat you senselessly with it.” I dropped it on the second try. The man grabbed the bow staff and true to his word began beating me senselessly in the back of the head. Then he broke my glass anime figures. The imports straight from Japan! I wanted to conjure up a dragon ball so hard in that moment and send this pecker back to hell but I could not find the strength. Instead…I just sat down and cried. Do you feel like sitting down and crying? Give Locanto a shot and maybe your tears will dry up and a smile will come across your face. It happened to me once I finally found the site, and I hope the same will happen to you.

Site design feels familiar

Why does it feel so familiar? Because you have probably used a website like it before. Most of us have used bulletin board sites before for a variety of reasons: hooking up with a young female like douchebag Chad, buying the entire catalog of pre-2000 Magic: The Gathering cards, trying to find someone to just go on a walk with me and massage me afterward… The point is you’ve been on a similar site so you already know how to browse Locanto. It takes one minute to figure out where everything is – that’s all. It’s easy to navigate and you will never feel lost. Now how many sites can actually say that? Not many!

Be notified when certain ads that match search queries are posted

So you actually have a job and cannot visit Locanto every single day. Or you are married and you don’t want your wife to know you are on Locanto trying to pick up an escort that is more beautiful than she is. How dare you say things about your wife like that! She loves you and cares for you and you’re on here like a Chad trying to pick up escorts? Oh, you’re not doing that? Well, maybe I just assumed someone reading this is being a total Chad and taking their wife for granted. Some of us would kill just to get a peck on the cheek much less actually have a female that loves and cares about them! If you don’t want to visit Locanto every day yet you know what kind of escort you want to visit you and tell you about the good qualities of your personality, Locanto has a feature that allows you to be alerted every time an ad is posted that matches your search query. Simply select, ‘Set search alert,’ and once you log in you will start getting notifications. It’s super simple for when you’re on the go and want to be notified when it’s time to reach out to your favorite beauty!

Good search options

The great thing about sites like Locanto is that there are multiple ways to search for the perfect escort. Locanto is no different: you can search for ads with only pictures and of course by age. It’s the perfect combination that gives you ads that meet two of the most important factors when finding an escort though I will admit those two things has no bearing on the type of escort I would choose. Even if the beauty was 80 years old and had no picture, if she could still name every protagonist from the original Final Fantasy to present in chronological order I would bathe her and ask her to marry me right there on the spot. You never pass up true love when it comes your way. The universe would use that as a sign to let me know that, “hey friend you don’t need to pass this swell lass up!” Oh, I hope she’s Asian!

Browse escorts by area

Of course, one of the most important details to finding the escort right for you is being able to search by area. Although white knights like myself will uplift a female no matter where she is in the world if you want to do a little local uplifting of your own you need to find a lady that is in your neighborhood. Locanto makes it easy to do this no matter where you are in the world. Browse by location and you will find the escorts that are closest to you. Even if you don’t want a female, Locanto makes it easy to search only male escorts. Women need to uplift men on occasion too even though most don’t make the sacrifice. I wish someone would make the sacrifice for me, but even my own mother seems to hate me…

Escorts can verify their phone for safe meetups

How embarrassing would it be if you reached out to an escort, arranged a time to meet up, met up, watched her take off her panties, and noticed that she had a big throbbing weenie!?! Oh my goodness I don’t know what I would do! I may service him because I felt so bad he came out all that way but even so it would not be what I had expected! *Giggles* I don’t know how I would feel if that happened… Locanto wants to avoid this mishap from ever happening by giving escorts the option to verify their phone. This ensures that the meetup is safe and nothing like a big floppy weenie is going to get in the way of having a good time. You will find that the most professional and highly regarded escorts on Locanto have a verified phone so if you want to play your cards safe only choose escorts that have a verified phone. Or don’t. It may be more fun that way. Come to think of it, a big weenie in my face might be…ThePornDude, can you explain these thoughts to me in private?

Ads feature a gallery with slideshow featuring the lady

If an ad features more than one beaut showing off her best assets then guess what? A slideshow showing these beautiful features will begin to play! It’s a convenient way to view every image of the lass on the ad as you read more information about what she has to offer. Although you can scroll down and view all of the images this makes it more convenient and shows that Locanto is focused on helping you get as much information as possible in the least amount of time.

Loads of details in ads

When you open an ad you will find what services the escort provides. There is a lot of details here: rates for outcall/incalls, phone number for scheduling a meetup, and any instructions that the escort has provided (e.g. protection required). It’s important to strictly follow the ad if you want to have a good time – otherwise, you may have a terrible night where the female is threatening to crush your penis with her high heel. It’s what I get for assuming the escort wanted to eat gas station sushi off my naked body when she said she wanted dinner.

Site could use a facelift

Unfortunately, Locanto could use a serious facelift. It may be easy to use since bulletin board sites have used this type of site design for decades now and most people are familiar with using them but it still looks dated. I am not sure what Locanto could do to make it look less ugly than it does but at least do something to make it feel like it isn’t stuck in the Web 1.0 days.