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Ladyboy Gold! People are very sensitive these days, so I always struggle to come up with the correct word to refer to… those people. You know the ones. The ones with tits and dicks. High-pitched voices and Adam’s apples. They look like women with their clothes on, but they’ve got a little bit extra hanging down when they take them off. I know the terms that are used in porn to refer to them are offensive and outdated. We’re not supposed to say trannys, or shemales, traps, or ladyboys. Transsexuals seems like it’s out too. But does it really matter? My intent is good. I don’t have anything against… them. I’m just as happy to treat them just like I do everyone else (that is, to avoid eye-contact and masturbate to them later). So when I switch between terms, know that each and every one comes from a place of love, understanding and lust. In the end, who cares what I call them? I mean… they do, obviously, but we all know what kind of person I’m talking about, so what’s the point? And if you don’t know, it’s time for you to stop over at Ladyboy Gold and educate yourself. And, while you’re there, maybe entertain yourself too. It’s the modern, progressive thing to do.

Finding Out What’s Down Her Pants

The site itself isn’t quite as mysterious as the gender identity of the women who star in its videos. The default presentation, though perfectly functional, isn’t perfect (just like me). You’ll be presented with an array of videos, along with their titles, upload dates, lengths, rating, and the name of the girl starring in them. Unfortunately, you won’t get any additional thumbnails or a video preview when you mouseover, but the videos load pretty quickly so this shouldn’t ruin your night. There aren’t many sorting options—you’ve either got the default, basic bitch chronological sort, the entirely useless virgin alphabetical sort, or the Chad highest rated search, but Ladyboy Gold makes up for this paucity of sorting options with an abundance of other ways to navigate the site. First and foremost is the categories. Yes, I know this isn’t normally something to applaud, but rather a basic expectation, but Ladyboy Gold takes this expected feature and knocks it out of the park in their execution. Each video is comprehensively tagged with so many of the hundred-plus categories that it seems like every single second of each video is cataloged with a category. On top of that, they’ve got a model directory too. But, for whatever reason, the comprehensive and useful tags that they apply to videos don’t carry over here. Perplexingly, you’ve got two options to sort through the girls on the site, and I can’t for the life of me figure out how they came up with them. On one hand, you can choose to look at only the Ladyboy models—which, considering what site we’re on, is about ninety-nine percent of them. Your other option is… Latina models. Yes, despite the fact that these two categories are not exclusive (you can, in fact, be a Latina and a ladyboy), and despite the fact that Latinas do not appear on Ladyboy Gold in any higher proportion than any other race, this is your other choice. You can look at all models, ladyboy models, or Latina models. If you want to check out any other group, you can fuck right off. There are a few other sections worth checking out. They’ve got photo galleries to browse through, with all of the same sorting options and tags as the videos, as well as a surprising amount of extras. There’s cartoon ladyboy porn, written erotica, and even ladyboy calendars and wallpapers (for your computer, not for your bedroom) hidden under the extras tab. They claim to have live webcam feeds, but be warned—these are actually just hidden ads for other cam websites. Don’t expect to follow those links and get a free ride. That’s not to say there aren’t fantastic men, women, and everything in between on Asian Cam Sex, Chaturbate, and LiveJasmine, but be aware that you’re going to have to dig even deeper in your wallet to take advantage of them. The same is true of the link to Ladyboy Dating at the top of the page. Though it’s made to appear like it’s a part of Ladyboy gold, it is again a link to another site: this time, to Thai Friendly, which bills itself as the number one Thai ladyboy dating site in the world. I didn’t have any luck there, but that might just be because all of the women I found had bigger dicks than my perfectly average three incher, so if you’re ThePornDude sized you might have better luck. The site and all of its features work perfectly on every single device I tested it on. I didn’t break out my mid-2000s iPod touch to make sure it handles legacy mobile devices, but if you’re a normal human looking at the site on a normal device that you use in your day-to-day life, you should be able to use Ladyboy Gold.

This Dick Ain’t Free

Ladyboy Gold costs twenty-nine dollars and ninety-four cents per thirty-day membership. That is all. There is no trial. There is no one week, three month, six month, one year, or lifetime membership. There’s nothing in between. You’re either signing up on the month-to-month plan that they offer, or you’re hitting the fucking road, because Ladyboy Gold doesn’t negotiate. I get that they’re in charge, and they don’t have to offer any plans that they don’t want to. And yes, I understand that the quality and quantity of the porn that they offer is good enough to get away with it. But would a little bit of flexibility hurt? Even a trial plan that’s overpriced in comparison would be a good way to test the site out. But no. If you want to watch even a second of a video on ladyboy Gold, you’ve gotta sign your soul away for a whole month. It's a good thing you guys have me. I’m kind and dedicated enough (and addicted to porn enough) to sacrifice my hard-earned mother’s money to test the site out for you, so you don’t have to risk it. The bottom line is simple: if you like watching chicks with dicks in your porn, sign up for Ladyboy Gold. The membership options are nonexistant, but if these girls can suck it up, so can you. Thankfully, they bill discretely, so mommy didn’t give me a spanking. This time. We’ll work up to that, though. Maybe if I asked her nicely?

Girls With Extra Bits

If the promise of enough chicks with dicks to empty your balls a hundred times over wasn’t enough for you, this might change your mind. There are actually nine more sites, all involving ladies with cocks twice the size of mine (and of just about everyone’s, ThePornDude excluded), that you’ll get access to, absolutely free, alongside your Ladyboy Gold Membership. They’re all a part of the Ladyboy Gold Network, so none of this is going to be standard porn. If you’re not attracted to transwomen, look elsewhere until you grow up and admit to yourself that just because girls with dicks make you feel emasculated doesn’t mean that you don’t have to masturbate to them. And then, once you’ve accepted your true feelings, come back and sign up. When you do, you’ll get all of these sites in addition to the flagship Ladyboy Gold: Ladyboy Dildo, Wank, and Fucked Bareback are all self-explanatory, but you’ve also got TS Raw (nearly identical to Ladyboys Fucked Bareback, but it’s hard to complain about something so awesome), Ladyboy Tube (which presents itself as amateur, but is in fact just gonzo trans porn), Ladyboy Glamour (the same stuff, just fancied up a bit), Ladyboy Girlfriend (again, pretty similar, but this one involves a bit more tenderness and a bit less forcefulness), and, last but not least, Ladyboy Angel, which appears entirely identical to the type of porn on Ladyboy Gold itself—though maybe these girls are going to heaven. Unfortunately, that’s a downside for me, because I’m definitely not—so instead, I’ll focus on the other sites and see those girls in hell soon enough.