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HotMovies

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Hot Movies! One of the things that separates me from The Porn Dude is that he’s constantly fucking the most beautiful women in the world, and I’m a kissless virgin who lives in his mom’s basement. Mama claims that I can’t judge videos of people banging if I’ve never banged, but I think I have a good idea of what is hot or not. If it makes my dick inflate to its full 2-inch length, it’s sexy, right? When in doubt, I can always go to a website that tells me they have hot movies, like HotMovies. HotMovies.com is a premium porn site that works more like a store than your typical membership site. Everything here is available on-demand, and you pay by the minute. It’s not the most common format for a paysite, but their 22,000 viewers per day ain’t complaining.

Browsing the Racks and The Porn Shop Online

Load up just about any porn site, free or paid, and what do you see? It’s almost always a wall of thumbnails showing screen grabs of the action in each movie, just row after row of lesbian orgies, Latina blowjobs, and Ebony gangbangs. There’s tons of flesh on display, and all the cocks look like they’re mid-pump up in them guts, mouths, and booty holes. HotMovies doesn’t look like that, though. This looks more like Netflix, or even like browsing the shelves at one of those old school, brick-and-mortar porn stores like they still have just off of highways and on the bad side of town. Instead of a stream of semen squirting on a bitch’s tits and a timestamp, side-by-side with an Asian slut mid-squeal and a teen spinning around beside an HD icon, the presentation here looks like a bunch of DVD covers or movie posters. The row of New Releases at the top shows lesbians dominating each other with strap-ons, girlfriends getting stretched out on BBC, and a sci-fi parody that I might not even guess was a parody if I didn’t see the PureTaboo logo above the title. Yeah, a lot of these are from major studios who also have their own paysites. Mofos, Brazzers, and Evil Angel also have a presence on the front page. Compared to a lot of premium sites, the layout does look at little bit dated. It could be the light background or just the fact that I’m looking at elaborate movie covers with stylized titles, post photos and a bunch of little text. I’m used to animated loops of double penetration and large HD thumbnails of dick-speared buttholes. HotMovies, with its rows of nonmoving movie covers, wouldn’t have looked out of place on the Internet a decade ago. In fact, I wonder how much the site has changed since its inception in 1996.

Every Kind of Smut Under the Sun

HotMovies has been selling porn on the Internet for over 20 years now, so naturally, they’ve learned a thing or two about moving smut. For one thing, it helps to have a ton of it. HotMovies adds a ton of updates, hundreds a week, and has well over a million adult scenes on the full menu. Another thing perverts like? A huge variety of filthy hardcore smut. To that end, they’ve got movies in every category of depravity for every kind of deviate out there. You didn’t think it was just a million vanilla missionary flicks, right? There is a row of thumbnailed popular porn genres at the top of the main page. They’ve got tons of Lesbian, Amateur and MILF movies, not to mention plenty of Big Tits, Handjobs, Anal and Facials. You can laugh while you jack off in the Parodies section or get some history with your masturbation under Classics. Queers can get their kicks under Gay, and the true freaks can find their kink under Fetish. There’s also a Categories dropdown menu with even more to choose from. If that’s not enough, take a deep dive into the full list. Most categories break down into a bunch of subcategories, often with hundreds or even thousands of scenes to choose from. Watch 900 Footjob movies, 10,000 Interracial Gonzo flicks and nearly 30,000 BDSM movies. HotMovies has over 2000 movies in their Chubby/Voluptuous category. I told mom about it because she’s been looking for a way to supplement her disability money, but she ended up having a screaming breakdown and flipping over her food bucket again. I guess none of the BBWs on the site are stuck on a mobility scooter due to extreme, debilitating obesity. She has a point, and also diabetes.

How Much for That Doggystyle in the Window?

Most streaming services and porn sites these days come with an all-you-can-eat model. With porn, 30 bucks usually gets you unlimited streaming and downloading. Here on HotMovies, you don’t have to pay for membership, but you do have to buy minutes to watch the movies. (They do have a membership available, though, which I’ll get to in a second.) One of the major advantages of the system is that if you don’t jack off this month because your anime princess body pillow has been treating you so well, you’re not throwing that membership money down the toilet. The obvious disadvantage is that you insatiable masturbators could potentially wank your way through your wallet. They have some introductory rate for new users. Thirty bucks will net you 340 minutes of spank time. If you’ve got a different budget, you can spring for different package. You get a little more bang for your buck if you have cash to spare, which is why I’m disappointed I blew my allowance on that new perfume to spray on my body pillow. She is my girlfriend, after all. If you know you’re going to be jacking off a lot, the membership might be a better bet for you. It’s 25 bucks a month, with a free clip, 270 minutes and a bunch of reward points every month. You also get 40 bonus minutes just for signing up.

Jerking Off for Just Pennies a Throw

Porn cocks are always so big and intimidating to see on the screen, especially to a dude like me with a sad little micropenis. That’s why I went straight to the Lesbian section. They’ve got nearly 18,000 girl-on-girl films, so I’ve got plenty to choose from that won’t make me feel like a pathetic little man with a deformed, smashed mushroom between his legs. The most popular dike clip on HotMovies right now is a Mommy’s Girl film called Sexy Siesta. The cover shows a MILF, Cherie DeVille, straddling her stepdaughter’s face, totally naked and fully shaved. The sweet little teen slut is making mommy happy with a tongue deep in her butthole. I had a tube of chocolate frosting as a midmorning snack, so I can relate. The movie actually features four different scenes of wild lesbian cunnilingus, tribbing and female masturbation in a threesome. You remember DVDs, right? Yeah, I forget they had multiple scenes like this. Newer porn sites tend to present every 30-minute scene as an individual flick. HotMovies gives you various options for viewing this movie. You can stream the entire thing or individual scenes paying by the minute. You can also rent it for week for just five bucks. You can stream it forever for 10 bucks, or add a download to the purchase for 15. I opted to pay by the minute. The video player opens in a new window, which I immediately pushed into full-screen mode. Resolution is crisp and buffering isn’t an issue. I can’t seem to adjust resolution, which is weird on a porn site in 2019, but the picture is certainly good enough for me to shake my dick at for the 14 seconds it takes me to ejaculate. One of the main things I like about HotMovies is that you can access tons of material from a ton of different studios without having a membership. Their catalog is insanely deep and wide-ranging, with smut in every category from every era, so there’s always plenty of stuff you’ll want to beat your meat to. With multiple purchases, rental, streaming and membership options, you’ll be able to find a good wank at any budget.