Czech VR! Porno has always been a really good way for antisocial neckbeards like me, who have never kissed a woman, to experience the vicarious sexual thrills of better men. Virtual reality takes that one step further by dropping us right into those booty call scenes and blowjob fantasies. I’ve actually been waiting for this for most of my life, and I’m fucking thrilled websites like CzechVR are shooting flicks that let me live out my dirtiest Euro slut fantasies.Sometimes I fantasize about saving up for a mail-order bride from the Czech Republic, but even the cheap, ugly girls are way the fuck out of my price range. There’s just not a lot of money to be made jerking off in your mom’s basement. CzechVR.com has been selling something similar since 2015, only you don’t have to feed the broads or give them a place to sleep. That’s good, because my anime princesses body pillow doesn’t allow other women in the bed.
Fill That Sex Helmet with Smut
About a year ago, I was riding my fat cart around Walmart when I took a pretty bad tumble. I reached for a bucket of ice cream that had been placed too high on the shelf and fell off the scooter, shattering my tailbone. The worst part was that I shat myself and I could tell all of the teenage employees trying to help me off the floor were thoroughly disgusted. It was one of the worst moments of my life, but now I’m glad it happened. Why? Because the cash settlement finally came through and I blew the money on a brand-new VR sex helmet.The problem now is that it’s getting expensive to load the thing up with 3D gangbangs and virtual incest films. I almost wish I bought one of the cheaper gadgets, but I know if I ever manage to get a friend or a woman they’re going to be more impressed by the expensive unit. Plus, the high-resolution means I am going to get maximum realism when my VR counterpart sperms all over a girl’s face. CzechVR has flicks that go up to 5K, 2700P, and I want to be able to get the full effect.The regular monthly membership at CzechVR currently runs 25 bucks. That’s a few bucks less than your typical 2D, non-immersive old-timey porno paysites usually charge. It gets even cheaper with a longer membership: three months for 50, or six for 85. See, mom? That means I made the right decision buying the goddamn Oculus, so quit giving me shit, alright?
Get Your Euro VR Porno In Bulk
One of the things you’ll notice immediately when you get signed into CzechVR is the volume. These fuckers are putting out a ton of VR smut! You see a lot of new VR sites that don’t have much to offer yet, but the archive here has nearly 700 3D fuck flicks already. They update three times a week, so that pile is growing in a fucking hurry.And my fucking God, this smut is filthy! The flick they added yesterday is a fetish movie called Pissing Sluts. I was worried it was going to be about what my sister does to my bed every time she gets drunk, but it actually sticks you right in a bathtub with a couple hot lesbians giving each other golden showers. Hey, wait a minute. I wonder if these are some of the Russian hookers who Donald Trump paid to pee all over him on that infamous sex tape that I’m sure will be released any day now.The movies are clearly tagged right on the main page, just in case the dirty pictures of women getting speared on giant dong don’t give you enough info. The past couple weeks have seen new VR flicks on CzechVR featuring reverse cowgirl with shaved pussies, titty fucks, latex and JOI. There is a tiny little petite thing taking a huge load, a dark-haired whore going ass-to-mouth, and a three-way sex scene with a White girl, an Asian girl, and you. Oh, and a blonde hottie fisting her own butthole and gaping wide.A stunning brunette named Valentina Bianco smiles from the screen grab of a VR flick called Booty Call. From what I understand, a booty call is when you call someone up, they come over and you fuck. I’ve never even had a girl’s number, so it’s hard to believe things like this actually happen. Thank God for virtual reality, am I right?
Finally Getting Laid in Virtual Reality
You can download the flick in whatever resolution your device is capable of, and CzechVR will work with all the major VR gadgets. These files are fucking huge, so plan your masturbatory sessions ahead. The full, high-resolution version of this one is over eight gigs. Streaming works, but just won’t look half as good.Booty Call opens with Valentina showing up at your house with a pizza. The Italian babe apparently runs a restaurant that you never come to, which I can totally identify with. I get McDonald’s at the drive-through and then eat it in the parking lot over a big erection and a lot of tears. Things work out a little better in the scene, though. Within five minutes, about the time I’m usually getting to my third Big Mac, Valentina is licking my virtual shaft and letting me poke her boobs with it.I came a minute later when Valentina lifted her skirt to let my virtual stand-in start hammering her from behind. I just don’t understand how guys can touch actual women without ejaculating immediately. I bet ThePornDude has that kind of superhuman climax control. Part of the reason I always visit the sites he likes is I figure I can follow in his footsteps and become a stud, too. Who knows? Maybe with enough VR sex, The Porn Geek can become a genuine Porn Dude.Even though I was sticky and spent, I laid down in bed as the porn stud did the same. Valentina climbed on top and started bouncing. She is a very vocal girl, her moans harmonizing with the rhythmic clapping of her ass against this dude. It’s a surprisingly similar sound to the one I make fapping or walking when my giant gut slaps against my thighs.
Cheaper Than a Mail-Order Euro Bride
Shit. This movie actually makes me want a mail-order bride even more. The movie is 40 minutes long, and Valentina is just bouncing on that fucking thing nearly the entire time. She has the kind of cardio fitness that I require in a sexual partner, since I usually don’t have enough wind to walk up the stairs. If I get a babe like Valentina, I can just lay there like I normally do and let her do all the work. That seems alpha as fuck. I wonder if that’s what The Porn Dude does.CzechVR does a really good job of bringing the European slut fantasy to your mom’s basement. I’m sure it would do an equally good job of bringing that fantasy to your office, bedroom, or the bus with a VR unit strapped to your face and a silicone schoolgirl vagina dangling from your junk, dripping lube all over the nonstick floor. No matter what dank, dark, cat-hair-covered hole you’re jerking off in, you’ll feel like you’re banging some absolutely stunning woman somewhere in Europe.The site would be a good value even if they charged the regular paysite price and only updated once or twice a week. CzechVR.com is a few bucks less than even 2D porno memberships, and they update three times a week with exclusive 5K virtual reality smut. They’re adding those movies to a VR sex pile that’s already nearly 700 deep, so you’d better get started if you’re going to spank your way through all of this. If my mom asks, tell her all the banging and moaning is just me aggressively cleaning the basement for the next month or two.