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Lately, my mother has been bothering me about getting a girlfriend. She thinks that I need to grow up, start dating, move out, get married, and start a family. But doesn’t she understand that I don’t want or need any of that? I’ve got a beautiful waifu pillow that I love dearly and cuddle with every night and a few cheap blow-up dolls on the side that I can slide into on the nights when my pillow isn’t hitting the spot. What more could a guy ask for? But I must admit that I’ve been longing for a change for a while now. Not for a real woman, that’s never going to happen. I’ve had my sights set on a RealDoll, those hyperrealistic sex dolls that are basically indistinguishable from real people.

Comparing RealDolls To The Alternatives

My deliberation on whether or not I should purchase a RealDoll really came down to two things. First and foremost is what does it offer me over what I’ve already got? I have a plastic doll that I can have sex with, and if I’m feeling particularly lonely I can even dress it up and eat dinner with it. If a RealDoll can’t beat that, there’s no point in moving forward. As it turns out, there are a few differences. Most obvious is the look and feel of the dolls. They’re much more realistic than your average sex doll. They actually have an interior skeleton (that isn’t actually made of bones) as well as a skin-like covering made of silicone. They don’t tear, they can’t be dented and they feel as close to skin as you can get without breaking several laws and having a documentary made about you. What’s more is they can even be made to feel alive. The materials that RealDolls are made of hold heat, so if you cover them in a heated blanket or give them a hot bath they’ll actually feel like a real, living person for a while. A real, living person who can’t say anything to you or move, but I think that’s more of a benefit than a draw-back, too. With their more realistic structure comes another benefit. Once you learn their clothing size, you can buy regular clothing for regular women and dress up your RealDoll in any way you see fit. I got some strange looks when I spent a few hours in the Walmart underwear section picking out thongs for my new lover, but the staff told me that it was more the smell of urine and encrusted semen than it was how long I spent in the aisle. The second question I have to ask myself was really more of a hypothetical: what do they have over real women? Well, aside from the fact that they can’t run away or talk, they’re also much more accessible. Yeah, the cost can approach ten thousand dollars, but at this point, I think winning the lottery is more likely than an actual human woman agreeing to have sex with me.

Browsing the Shelves

It’s obvious. Pillows are obsolete. Blow-up sex dolls are obsolete. Real live women are obsolete. All hail our new RealDoll overlords. Now that we’ve got that settled, let’s take the plunge and start our order. You have two options when ordering from the RealDoll website. You can select a ready-to-ship prebuilt doll by choosing from a selection of body types, faces, and hair. You can pay a little bit extra to change the eyes, freckles, makeup, or hair of the doll, but otherwise, you’ll have to make your selections from the gallery and stick with them. These girls range in cost from about six thousand to ten thousand dollars which is far more expensive than any sex toy I’ve ever purchased, but also far cheaper than what a third-world sex slave costs… or so I’ve heard, I obviously have no actual experience with even looking into something like that. The best part about picking one of these real dolls is that they ship in under a week, but the downside is that almost all of the selections seem perpetually out of stock. A lot of work goes into crafting art like this, so the company can’t churn out thousands of the dolls every hour. Since demand is so high, you’ll have to check the store pretty constantly if you want to snag a good-looking girl before they’re gone.

Create Your Own Dream Girl

A much better option is to build your own girl. Between the thousands of combinations of options you get, you can pretty much create the girl of your fantasies using these tools. Production and shipping will take a bit longer, but I say it’s better to get it right than get it quickly. The first step in the process is to pick a face. There are about thirty to choose from, so chances are at least one will meet your needs. They’ve got white girls, black girls, and everything in between, and even a small selection of pornstar replica faces. I debated choosing Asa Akira’s face so that I could act out some scenes with her, but I ended up going with a cute MILFy-looking brunette instead. After that comes the body types. You can choose big tits and a big ass, small tits and a big ass, big tits and a small ass… and so on and so forth, adding up to sixteen total body types. With so much to choose from, I went for the classic hourglass shape. Sometimes I’m in the mood for thick girls or thin girls, but I feel like the hourglass is the constant that will never let me down. Next up is skin color. Even though the faces you pick from do have a recommended color, you can change that up if you like. You’ve got five shades to choose from, and I went with the whitest for a reason that I’m not willing to specify for fear of being called a racist. Then come the premium options. As of right now, we’re at the basic six thousand dollar price, but it can add up from here. You’ve got a choice between basic eyes and “Hi-Realism” eyes. They pictures don’t look that different and RealDoll doesn’t explain what sets them apart, but I feel like paying an extra fifty bucks to make sure that my fuckdoll doesn’t stare back at me with dead soulless eyes is probably worth it. Next is makeup. You can either specify eyeliner, eyeshadow, lipstick, and nail colors, or you can pay $450.00 extra and have them examine a photo that you upload and match the picture as well as possible. I wanted to see how that would work, so I took a look through my harddrive to see what kind of pictures I could find. All I have is one of mommy… oh well, I guess it will work. The same is true of the hair. You can choose from thirteen preset styles and nine colors, or have RealDoll staff match the hair from a picture for $150.00. Hmm. I guess while I’m adding things on, I might as well have them match her there too… After hair comes the breasts. Though we already chose basic breasts when we made our body type selection, you can increase the cup-size (for an up-charge), choose a specific nipple type (for an upcharge), and even pick a custom color for the nipple (for an up-charge). The saga continues with vaginal customization. By default the pussy is removable for easy cleaning, but you can pay extra to make it a permanent part of the RealDoll (for authenticities sake, I guess). You can even add a Bluetooth insert for five hundred dollars, which will link to an app to react to your cock. I feel like even a robotic vagina wouldn’t react positively to my penis, so I skipped out on this add-on. You can also customize the appearance of the labia and the pubic hair, and even buy additional swappable removable inserts. We’re almost there! Last but not least we’ve got a few optional extras. You can pay for freckles on the face and the body, add piercings just about anywhere, and even order lube so that everything as ready to go as soon as she arrives on your door. They even sell a “transgender convertor,” which is basically a double-ended dildo that you shove one end of up your RealDoll and the other up your ass. I picked the large one… for equality, not because I want to take it in the ass. Congratulations, we finally made it! After hours of having deliberated on how to create the perfect woman, we only have one decision left. You can rush production by fifty percent by increasing the cost of the doll by 20%, or speed things up by 75% by increasing the total cost by 40%. I’m horny now, so I went with the fastest production schedule, which brought my final price up just above $10,000.00. Oof. I hope mommy doesn’t mind me using her credit card. Now that I think about it, this RealDoll is going to look exactly like her… what a coincidence.