DesiPapa

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Desi Papa! I’ve always liked Indian women. Maybe it’s the dark, beautiful skin, or the dusky exotic eyes, or the fact that they’re supposedly masters of tantric sex and students of the kama sutra. Or maybe it’s the fact that they’re less fetishized than just about every other race, so I feel like I might actually have a shot at having sex with one. I haven’t had any luck yet, but it certainly seems a lot more realistic than fucking an Asian chick or a Latina. So until that dream comes true, I fulfill my desire in two ways. The first is by going to the Indian buffet by my house to load up on butter chicken, samosas, naan, saag paneer, aloo gobi, and eyefuls of the owner’s daughter. The other is by furiously masturbating to the Indian porn that I find on sites like Desipapa. DesiPapa is so old that it predates the Vedas. Well, that’s not entirely true, but the site was founded in 1998, which in internet terms is roughly equivalent to being three thousand years old. I know that doesn’t seem like much, but it’s rare to find a porn site that old. Some of the oldest videos on the site have women who are old enough to be grandmothers by now—and I’m going to stop talking about that immediately, because it awakened a desire inside my that I would much rather put back to sleep.

A Free Trip To India

DesiPapa is actually split into two separate sections. The first, the free version of the site, is surprisingly good. Normally when a site is split into a free version and its premium counterpart, the lesser version is nothing more than an ad for the pay site. Basically, they hope to give you just enough of a taste of the site to convince you to sign up for the full version, and nothing more. But that’s not so with DesiPapa’s free site. This is a free amateur Indian porn site that just happens to be attached to a premium porn site. It does suffer from some problems, though. The videos are short—definitely long enough (for me) to masturbate to, but usually no more than a few minutes long. If you’ve got the stamina of ThePornDude the constant breaks might be an issue, but for us normal guys, it just means we have to line up a couple of videos before we get down to business. There is also very little in the way of sorting, categories, or tags. Well, maybe I was being too kind—there is nothing in the way of any navigational tools, aside from mindlessly scrolling and clicking on thumbnails. You’re reduced to spotting a hot-looking girl and clicking on it—and while this works, pretty much every other porn site offers at least one or two other ways to narrow things down for you. What’s worse is that some of the thumbnails are hidden ads that don’t actually link to videos, and there are quite a few text and banner ads that distract from the experience, too. At least half of the links on each page don’t actually get you to a part of DesiPapa. Most are for other premium Indian porn sites, and some are just for completely unrelated standard, run-of-the-mill fucktapes. I wasted a few minutes clicking on these on my first visit to DesiPapa, but with a bit of experience, you’ll learn to avoid them. Once you do, DesiPapa becomes a simple but attractive porn site. Sure, half of the site is stuff you’ll want to completely ignore, but the other half is hot Indian women getting fucked, so really that’s not a bad split. It’s by no means perfect, but neither am I.

Behind the Velvet Curtain

In addition to their free version, DesiPapa also offers a version of the site that they call the “Gold Site.” With how good the free site is, it would be hard to convince me to pay for the premium version… well, that’s not entirely true. I’m so addicted to porn and starved for love and affection that I would pay for just about any porn site, but I know some of you aren’t the same. You might only masturbate once a day, or maybe you’re even like ThePornDude and just use porn on those rare days when you can’t bother calling one of the girls from your harem over. So I guess instead of unreservedly saying you should sign up for DesiPapa Gold, I’ll go over what they offer. First and foremost, you get more content. I’m not entirely sure how many videos you get with the free version, but the paid version brags that they’ve got over five thousand. Since the paid version also has daily updates (while the free ones are a bit less frequent), this means that even daily masturbators, or even twice (or thrice) daily masturbators will have plenty of content for years to come. The videos are much longer, too. Instead of short clips that average about a minute long, these are closer to ten minutes, so even guys who have had their dicks touched by other humans should be able to finish before the video does. And finding the videos will be much less annoying. The ads are all gone, so clicking on a thumbnail will actually bring you to where you’re trying to go. There are a few more ways to find videos, too, so it won’t be a complete crapshoot. You’ll spend much less time navigating the site and much more time masturbating. And, when you’re done, you can use the time you’ve saved to… masturbate more, if you’re anything at all like me. On top of that, you get access to free live chat rooms, with cute Indian babes. I’m as shy with virtual women as I am with real ones, so I didn’t spend too much time on this part of the site, but they did seem more interested in me than girls are in real life, so I’ll chalk this up as a win. Yes, that’s not a high bar to pass, but I’m not going to let that get me down. It’s certainly better than Mr. Patel’s daughter huffing and walking away in disgust every time I approach the buffet line. You also gain the ability to download the videos to add them to your permanent collection. You may not realize it now, but this can come in handy. If you have videos saved to your phone, you can masturbate when your Wi-Fi signal is bad. You can masturbate on a plane without paying extra for their shitty Wi-Fi. You can masturbate as your battery drains after a power outage. And you can even masturbate in India without incurring roaming charges after you realize that the girls you chatted with on DesiPapa don’t actually want your three-inch white dick. Not that that happened to me, this is all totally hypothetical.

Trading Your Rupees For Gold

To get to the VIP Gold Membership section of the site, you will have to open your wallet a bit. Their pricing structures are a bit confusingly worded, so make sure you’re paying attention. At first, it seems like there isn’t any trial option, and given that an entire segment of DesiPapas is completely free to access, I think this is a lot more acceptable than it would be with most sites. But the shortest option is what DesiPapa eloquently describes as “1 day for $9.95 then $24.95 recurring every 30 days.” I’m not sure if this is a bad translation from Hindi or if they’re being intentionally misleading, but basically what this means is that you will start with a one-day trial, and then every other month will cost twenty-five. The trial itself isn’t cheap, but I’ve seen worse month-to-month plans. Alternatively, you can jump straight to a one-month plan for twenty-five dollars; or prepay for three months for a one-time fifty-dollar fee. If you’re in for the long haul and don’t plan on ceasing your overzealous masturbation habit any time in the next year, you can pre-pay for a whole year for just one hundred dollars, which works out to a fantastic value of just about eight dollars a month. My mommy handles my budget and gives me an allowance, but even I know that’s a good deal. Sure, I’m going to have to find a way to make an excuse up when the site shows up on her credit card statement, but thankfully DesiPapa uses discreet billing names, so it shouldn’t be too difficult.

Show 9+ sites like DesiPapa:

DesiPapa

desipapa.com

A Free Trip To India

Behind the Velvet Curtain

Trading Your Rupees For Gold