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Banned Sex Tapes! Sex tapes get a lot of flack from the mainstream media. The so-called “victims” say that these videos were released without their permission, that their rights to privacy have been invaded, and that the distributors and even the viewers of the tapes should be prosecuted. But I say that if the people involved didn’t want the public to have access to their most private moments, they shouldn’t have filmed them. Momma always taught me not to record anything that I wouldn’t want the world to see. And guess what? No matter how hard you look, you’re not going to find my sex tapes online. You might say that the reason for that is the fact that I’ve never had sex, and while you’re technically right I don’t think that weakens my point. If you don’t want it spread around, don’t leave evidence. That’s my motto when I clean up after masturbating in public, and that’s my motto when it comes to sex tapes. Thankfully for our sake, not every celebrity follows that advice. Despite their intentions, nudes, sex tapes, and hot paparazzi pics find their way onto the internet. They often get taken down when they do pop up, but one place they always end up staying is BannedSexTapes.com.

Paying The Rental Fee

Whoever said that the best things in life are free is wrong. If you want a premium experience, in porn or elsewhere, you’re going to have to pay. Banned Sex Tapes is no exception. These wonderful people are doing all the dirty work by providing this lovely service to us, and I think it’s only fair that we reward them for violating the privacy of the women in these videos. So I signed up for a three-month membership (their best value) without hesitation. But I recognize that some of you are a bit less fortunate than I am. We don’t all have mommy’s loving credit card to rely on. If you trust me (as you should, I’m a porn connoisseur), your best bet is to dive in just like I did with the longest-term membership they offer, since it has the most savings attached to it. But, if you’re not ready to make that commitment, you can also sign up on a month-to-month basis, or even pay for a two-day trial for just a dollar. Trust me, though, you’re going to want to stick around for the long term. These aren’t just sex tapes of your average girl, Banned Sex Tapes has videos of celebrities. Guys like you and I can’t convince even the ugliest of girls to do the stuff that you’ll find here, let alone absolute babes like Megan Fox and Kim Kardashian. Even if you’re some alpha male like ThePornDude, these girls are out of your reach.

Browsing The Blockbuster Racks

Once you pay the entry fee, you’ll be greeted with a sight that should brighten just about anyone’s day: a staff selection of some of the hottest pics on the site. In my case, I saw a lovely photograph of Jennifer Lawrence with her tits out that I recognized immediately as having been sourced from the Fappening iCloud hacks of 2014. Before signing up, I had no idea that these photos were included in my membership, but I’m very happy that they are. Just ignore the fact that these pics were taken without the girls’ permission, and ignore the fact that many of them have described anyone looking at the photos as perverts and criminals. Push all of that to the deepest, darkest corner of your mind, right next to your impure thoughts about those closest to you, whip out your cock, and get to work. You’ll be much happier in the long run, just make sure that you distract yourself before the post-orgasm clarity washes over you and you realize what you’ve done. Just below the header, you’ll find links to some of the hottest videos on the site. They’ve got the classics that are required viewing for any student of porn (like Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton), as well as some rarer stuff (both sourced from the iCloud leaks and elsewhere). This is as good a place to start as any, but if none of it tickles your fancy you’ve got two other options for navigation. If you know who you’re looking for, click “Celebs” up top. This is BannedSexTapes’ directory of girls. You can search by name, popularity, or filter things by tags to find who you’re looking for. If you know exactly who you’re looking for, the alphabetical listing of celebrities will probably be the quickest way to find her. If she’s been photographed or recorded having sex or in some state of nudity, you’ll find evidence of it. BannedSexTapes’ collection is more comprehensive than any I’ve ever seen, so if your celebrity crush isn’t on the site, you probably won’t find porn featuring her anywhere. You can also sort within each celeb’s page, which comes in handy especially when looking at some of the most popular starlets. Jennifer Lawrence, who I’ve loved ever since I first saw The Hunger Games, must have hundreds of pics available, so being able to separate the good from the also-good-but-not-quite as good by sorting by most viewed really comes in handy. As much as I enjoy seeing her in a bikini, I like looking at her pretty face covered in cum even more. Plus, the dick isn’t in the pic, so I can imagine that it’s mine. I’m sure that illusion would be ruined if I saw the kind of massive cocks that Jennifer Lawrence spends her time with, so I’m very happy that the photographer decided not to show off in that one. The tagging system is great on BannedSexTapes, which makes it really easy to discover new celebrities to jerk off to. The site does a lot of what other sites fail to do for some reason, in allowing you to combine tags. It’s like a create-your-own-celebrity sex tape tool. Mid-way through a long night alone in the basement with a bottle of Mountain Dew and a box of tissues I began to grow weary of my typical targets, so I started to venture into the categories. By combining “MILF,” “Blonde,” and “Big Boob” I created a facsimile of mother so realistic that I expected her to knock on the door and ask me why I didn’t give the real thing a try for a change. But it never happened, it must have just been the euphoria talking. After that I went in another direction: “Teen,” “Latina,” “Musician.” Then I tried “Black,” “English,” “Actress.” Basically any combination that you can think of will have at least a few celebrities listed. I could spend a long time jerking off to BannedSexTapes with this variety of content. I probably could even without these features, but that might say more about me than it does about the site.

The Tapes Themselves

You’re probably wondering why I’ve spent so much time and virtual ink describing how to find the porn you’re looking for and not much on what the actual porn is like. I bet you think I’m hiding something. Well chill out, ye of little faith. There’s a good reason for that, and it’s one that you’ll like. There’s not much to say about the videos and pictures because they’re pretty much uniformly awesome. It’s easy to spend an hour tearing apart shitty porn. You can complain about the girls being ugly, or the sex being boring, or the camera-work being shitty. But none of that is true of the porn on BannedSexTapes. It’s good porn, and there aren’t that many ways to describe good porn. So concentrate more on finding the stuff and jerking off to it and less time on critiquing it. You won’t find much to complain about, so it’ll save you some time. With the time I saved trying to find a criticism of BannedSexTapes, I went to go see a movie. I brought a notepad so that I could copy down the names of every cute girl in it and look them up on the site after. If that’s not a productive use of my time, I don’t know what is.