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Cum On Printed Pics! Everyone always tells me to be myself. What usually happens after is that they find out that they don’t really like me once I start to be myself, and then we never talk again. I’ve even been told after to not be myself, to hide who I truly am for as long as possible and to seek professional help to change who I am.

But those people are wrong. Well, they were right about the fact that I need to be myself, but wrong about the fact that I’m a disgusting fucked-up person who should kill themselves immediately (their words, not mine).

I now know that because I’ve found a place where I can be free. A happy place. A place of peace and balance, a place where my soul is nourished and nurtured, a place free of judgment and full of joy. This is where I belong; this is where I’m normal.

This wonderful place goes by the name of CumOnPrintedPics. Or, more formally, “CumOnPrintedPics Cum On Pictures Cum Tribute Porn Forum.” They bill themselves as the original Cum Tribute Porn Forum, and while I haven’t been able to verify that, I can tell you two things: it’s definitely the biggest, and it’s definitely the best.

It may strike my more cultured readers as odd, but some people actually don’t know what cum tributes are. Thankfully that includes my mom: when she asked what the site was doing in my web history I told her that it was just a funny way of spelling “come tribute” and that it was a site where you post pictures of people and then the other guys on the site drop by to say nice things about the people.

I think she believed it because she didn’t ask me to take her photos down, but I’ll be a bit more honest with the rest of you. You guys don’t bring me my chicken tenders, so I’ve got nothing to lose if you think it’s weird.

Cum tributes are simple. Somebody will post a pic of a girl that they like, or even in some cases a horny babe will post a picture of themselves. Then, the guys on CumOnPrintedPics will do what the name of the site implies: print that picture, lay it out in front of them, and rub their cock until they blast all over it and cover it in goo.

It’s hard to understand the appeal until you actually see it, so I’d suggest just jumping right into the site, but I’ll give it a shot anyway. It’s basically like you came on her yourself: like she fell in love with you and invited you into her bed for a passionate night of love-making until you squirted baby batter all over her face. Except unlike that fantasy, this is actually possible. It’s a step down from real sex, but it’s about as close as you can get with a woman who won’t actually touch you let alone talk to you.

If It Exists, We’ll Cover It

Take my advice and you’ll find a pretty old-school forum layout when you enter the site. There isn’t really any obvious place to start, so let me guide you to the must-see five-star attractions so that you don’t get left at a rest stop on your way there.

The centerpiece of CumOnPrintedPics is the forum called “Request Teen Amateur Cum Tribute/Cock Tribute Porn Pictures.” The title of a bit of a mouthful, but it does a pretty good job of describing what it’s all about. Basically, what you can do here is post a pic of any girl between the ages of 18 and 22, and then the wonderful citizens of the site will come out of the woodwork to take pics of their cum all over your chosen victims face. Many of the guys even include their cocks in the pic.

It’s not gay or anything (not that there’s anything wrong with that), but it’s sometimes fun to imagine these thick veiny cocks violating the girl you chose. Some of these cocks are huge, too—it’s rare to see an average three-incher, and some of them are even ThePornDude sized. Sometimes when I see a pic of a big one over a picture of my mom I like to imagine that he’s the one fucking my mom. Maybe he’ll marry her and he could be my new daddy…

There are also a few related spin-off subforums. There’s a “Request Mature Cum Tributes/Cock Tributes” subforum that focuses on women over 23. I kind of resent the fact that the site classifies people over 23 as old, but maybe it’s different for men and women. I’ll go with that, because the alternative is to accept the fact that there’s something wrong with the fact that I’m approaching thirty, unemployed, uneducated, and living at home.

Another good section is called “Cum Tribute Porn Videos,” which is basically the same as the other sections but the guys record themselves jerking off and cumming over the pics. It’s totally not gay to watch a guy masturbate if they’re doing it over a printed picture, right? I’m going to go with that, because as much as I enjoy watching these videos I think I’d do even worse as a gay guy than I do as a straight guy. The hygiene and fitness standards are just way too high.

There’s one other cum tribute subforum on CumOnPrintedPics, but this one is a little bit different. The targets are celebrities, and requests are less popular than just showing off what you’ve produced. If you’re in the mood for a bit of exhibition, you should check this section out: I posted a pic of myself next to a photo of Emma Watson, and the guys all commented on how kind she would have to be to touch a dick like mine. I’m so glad she got compliments, that’s all I ever wanted from this. I’m not sure what they’re talking about since mine is average, but at least they’re being nice.

Fakes On Demand

There’s another genre of porn that I didn’t expect to find on CumOnPrintedPics, but when I got into it I found it just as appealing as the main event. It was such a nice unexpected surprise. Like finding a gooey chocolate filling in a cake, or like the days when mom decides to pair her low-rise jeans with her high-rise thong. It’s unexpected joys like this that make life worth living.

That wonderful surprise can be found in the subforum title “Request Photoshopped Fake Nudes/Porn.” The saintly photoshoppers that call this subforum home will take non-nude pictures of your desired targets (strangers, friends, friends who stopped talking to you after you kept taking pictures of them, mothers, etc.) and manipulate the images into both softcore and hardcore porn.

The dedication on display here is incredible. A lot of times the fakes will go up the next day, and I’ve even seen a few within an hour. Just take a few pics of your crush, tell the nice people at CumOnPrintedPics what you want, and your dreams will come true.

It’s the closest thing you can get to actually having a girlfriend that wants to fulfill you sexually. Well, the closest thing I can get. If you’re still reading this review, it’s probably the closest thing you can get too, but I know that ThePornDude is a huge fan of me so I guess that sentence doesn’t apply to everyone. But, if you’re not some 5’8 giant with a huge four-inch dick, the photoshop subforum on CumOnPrintedPics is your best bet. Guys like ThePornDude might be able to willingly cum all over girls faces, but for the rest of us it’s a choice between felony and fantasy, and I’ll stick with fantasy until the desperation becomes too much.

Just like with the cum tributes, there’s also a subforum to request celebrity fakes. There aren’t as many requests here, so it’s not quite as good to browse through as the amateur section, but the upside of that is that there’s also less competition if you’re the one making the request. The turnaround time and quality of pics here is probably a bit higher than it is elsewhere, so if you’re dying to see Rey from Star Wars take three dicks at once, you’ve come to the right place. And not just cocks, but lightsabers and tentacles too!

PornGeek likes CumOnPrintedPics

  • Lots of hot pictures of amateur girls
  • People love filling requests
  • Photoshopped fakes on demand

PornGeek hates CumOnPrintedPics

  • Old-style interface